Plagued By Dumbasses

July 31, 2008

7 Minutes in Heaven

Filed under: Traffic Trials — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 10:41 am

Well not exactly.  Perhaps I should have just returned home and crawled into a closet but nope – I still had to get to work.

Picture this….

You leave your house and head down the side streets heading to Dufferin to avoid the rush hour traffic just as you do every morning.  As you approach Dufferin you see a big rig with a trailer come barrelling around the corner at speeds that even a car would have a problem turning at.  The big rig is in your lane.  You are on a head-on collision path with a big rig that is still travelling way too fast as it makes the right hand turn.  You slam on your brakes.  The truck is still coming….FAST!  You slam the car in reverse and stomp on the gas pedal.  The big rig swings across the lane in front of you – narrowly (and I mean narrowly) missing the left corner of your front bumper.  You look up at the driver as he and his truck squeeze by you on the left and to your utter disbelief he doesn’t even acknowledge that you are there or that he could have killed you had you not reacted.  You take a couple of deep breaths, swear under your breath a couple of times, thank the powers that be that no one was behind you and continue on your way to work, thankful that you are still alive.

Fast forward about 4 minutes.  You are lined up to get on the Gardiner.  The guy to the right of you (who is in a right turn only lane) decides to merge left.  Okay fine – this surprisingly happens all the time so you tap your brakes to make room and save the right side of your front bumper.  You continue across the intersection and enter the ramp.  You see a flash of a car to your left that seems extremely close to the side of your car.  You realize that the driver of the car to your left has decided that the ramp is going to be two lanes this morning.  You honk and motion to his passenger that this is not in fact a two-lane ramp.  She looks blankly at you completely oblivious to what your problem could possibly be and the driver continues to push his way onto the ramp almost clipping his mirror against yours in his idiocy.  You swerve to the right and hit the gas to escape the lunacy.   You look down at the clock and realize you have only been on the road for 7 minutes and make the sad realization that it is going to be one of those days!

Welcome to my world!!  Come on, everyone say it with me…..DUMBASSES!!!!!!

May 28, 2008

Tax dollars hard a work…NOT!

Filed under: Random Ramblings — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 9:48 am

I am so tired of calls for inquests and commissions and inquiries and investigations into alleged behaviour from this political party and that political party.  What the hell is the government (the one in “power” or any of the opposition) actually doing to govern????  All their time and our money is spent trying to figure out which party has the most skeletons in the closet.  Who the hell cares?????  If they spent a fraction of the money they spend investigating each other on oh I don’t know maybe the environment, trade, social programs or any other area that actually helps Canadians we would be in great shape. 

It is just so sad that this is the time we live in.  A time where “leaders” are more interested in exposing the short comings of others than they are in actually leading.  Each one is just as flawed as the next – can’t they just agree on that and move on to actually doing something to help the people who pay their salaries???  

Stop spending my money to cover your ass!  Stop spending my money to pay for investigations into every little alleged wrong-doing!  Start spending my money on making my country better!  Dumbasses!!

May 23, 2008

Wow…who knew I had the invisibility package

Filed under: Traffic Trials — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 12:40 pm

I think our car has some sort of fancy schmancy invisibility option that I wasn’t aware of.  At least I am assuming I was invisible when I was cut off twice in about a 10 minute period on my way to work today. 

Do people not even look around them before changing lanes???  Why is it up to me to slam on the brakes to avoid being hit??  What the hell are they doing moving into my lane while I am already driving in that exact spot?????

May 20, 2008

Long weekend catch-up

Filed under: Random Ramblings — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 1:36 pm

Saturday – Took a long walk with dog, ran errands, errands, errands, errands and more errands.

Sunday – Slept in, had breakfast with my Aunt, Uncle and cousin, did laundry (well actually Jason did most of the laundry), watched a movie (at home) and caught up on tv.

Monday – Took a short walk with the dog, ate breakfast, headed to Terra Cotta for a hike with the dog, went to Mississauga to plant some plants we gave Jason’s mom for Mother’s Day, did more laundry (again – mostly Jason), made a great dinner and did some reading.

 The weather was shite but we enjoyed the weekend regardless.  Sometimes it is nice to be trapped in the house.

May 13, 2008

If you can see out, I can see in!

Filed under: Random Ramblings — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 1:55 pm

Last night on my way home from work I was stopped at red lights for 5 blocks one after another.  Each time I looked in my rear-view mirror I saw the same man doing some serious mining for boogers.  He was really digging up in there – it actually looked a little painful. 

Now he was trying to turn himself a little to the left to block the view from the cars parked on his right but did he not realize that I could quite plainly see him each time I glanced up?  Did he care??  He was also doing a lot of wiping on his pants with that finger so I’m very sorry for the person who will be doing his laundry.

I find it hilarious the things that people do in their cars when they think they are alone.  They do realize that the car has windows right??  I guess I have to admit that I can often be seen signing up a storm as I drive about but that is probably just amusing to my fellow commuters.  But nose picking?  Come on people, I don’t need to be treated to visions of your finger shoved up your nose every time I check my mirrors.

May 9, 2008

If it looks like a duck…

Filed under: Culinary Chronicles — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 2:05 pm

They both come individually packaged.

They both contain flour, sugar, butter.

They both come in Carrot, Chocolate Chip, Chocolate and Banana varieties.

So I ask you – what the heck is the difference between a muffin and a cupcake??

Let’s be honest – if I am eating a Triple Chocolate Muffin – I am just eating a chocolate cupcake….without frosting.  Calling it a muffin doesn’t make it any better for me but I will admit that those “muffins” are pretty tasty.

May 8, 2008

Look at those ponies go!

Filed under: Social Subjects — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 9:20 am
Tags: ,

Last night Jason and I took advantage of another one of the McMaster Alumni events and headed to Woodbine Racetrack for a little dinner, a little racing form education and a little horse betting.  Jason had been before but it was my first time.  I have always wanted to go but never really got around to it before so this was a great opportunity. 

After getting a little info on how the betting form worked from a Woodbine guy, I threw out what I had learned and picked my first horse based purely on its name and blanket colour.  I bet on the 3 horse wearing a blue blankie (Jason’s favourite colour is blue) whose name is Native Wisdom (Jason is half Ojibwa).  Now I have to mention that this horse was showing 19:1 odds when I went off to bet….Jason thought I was a little crazy but I didn’t care – it was the horse I wanted and so off to the betting window I went with my choice and my $2. 

The betting process felt a little like order soup from the Soup Nazi.  Step up to the window and give info in this order – Race, Amount, Horse, Kind of Bet. 

So I took my money and stepped up and said, “First race, $2, 3 horse to Show”, put my money on the counter, took my betting slip from the machine and stepped back.  Phew!  It was a little stressful but I was quite pleased with placing my first horse bet! 

We took our seats and the ponies got ready to go….”And they’re off!” was announced and the yelling started…..”Come on 3, come on 3…”.  So for those of you who aren’t familiar with the lingo at the track, placing a bet for a horse to “Show” means that the horse has to come 1st, 2nd or 3rd for you to get any money.  When the race began, my pick was showing 30:1 odds – so not a sure thing by a LONG shot!

As the horses got underway, Native Wisdom was hanging back as his odds would indicate he would but about half way through he got himself pumped up and he took off.  They were rounding the final corner and Native Wisdom was hauling ass!  He was over-taking horses and moving up and up and up.   I was yelling and hopping in my seat as my pony got closer and closer to the front.  At the line Native Wisdom was in 2nd!  Yes people that is correct – my 30:1 horse finished 2nd.  Now as I had only bet $2 and your payout is less if you take the “Show” bet as it is a safer bet I actually ended up winning only $12.70 but I don’t care.  It was my first time at the track, my first bet on the ponies and I won.  Wahoooooo!!!  I used my winnings to bet on the other races and even though I didn’t win I had a great time.  I ended up leaving with a profit of $4.70.   I realize that isn’t much but I am quite proud of it! 

Oh and just between us, Jason didn’t win anything…ssh…he doesn’t want to talk about it.

May 7, 2008

I feel like a failure but my house is much cleaner

Filed under: Random Ramblings — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 10:59 am

So after months and months and months and months of talking about it, Jason and I finally found someone to clean our house.  Well actually we found two people.  Our new cleaners are a little Portuguese couple and they are coming every other Tuesday to clean for us.

There is a part of me that feels like a failure because I couldn’t figure out how to keep my own house clean but there is also a part of me that loved my house being cleaned while I was working.  We could have done better in the cleaning department but we opted to spend more quality time together and cleaning was just so far down on the list that it just didn’t get done as frequently as we would like.  So we caved and are paying someone else to do it.  The poor peeps had their work cut out for them yesterday as it was the first day and they didn’t get everything done but the house looks so much better.  They even cleaned the things I never do.  Things like the oven and the stove plates and the toaster oven and the toaster and a number of other things that just don’t make it on the list when I am making the house liveable. 

At this point we are thinking it was money extremely well spent!!

May 5, 2008

Moving right along…

Filed under: Wedding Words — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 2:21 pm

This past week was quite eventful in terms of wedding planning.

We found a guy to marry us.

We learned that the restaurant we wanted to get cheesecake from will do it…and for a great price!

We got an amazing quote from the florist!!

We went to look at the venue again to finalize what we would need in decorations and we still love it as much as we did when we booked it – which is a relief!  The room was set up for a wedding so we were able to see what it will look like when we are there and it was awesome.  So exactly what we wanted.

We’ve (well more I’ve) decided on a number of things such as seating chart, favours and other little bits and bobs.  Now I just have to get cracking and get the stuff made.  Our invitations are still not really coming along but that is just because I keep procrastinating and avoiding them.  But this week I will try to get them going as well.

It was a very successful week and I am finally feeling like things are on track.  We still have a number of things to sort out but at least I am not feeling completely overwhelmed now.  Phew!

May 2, 2008

We have a guy!

Filed under: Wedding Words — by Gwen Resmer Patchett @ 11:24 am

We have someone to marry us!  Wheeeeeeeee!  Jason just sent off the deposit and we are confirmed with our officiant.  So exciting!!!  I also met with the florist a while ago and just got the quote yesterday and it is an amazing price so that is something else we can take off our list.

It has been a great week for wedding bits!!  Now only 1000 other things to do in the next 5.5 months!

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