A truly amazing phenomenon

You and I belong to a species with a remarkable ability:  we can shape events in each other’s brains with exquisite precision.  I am not referring to telepathy or mind control or the other obsessions of fringe science; even in the depictions of believers these are blunt instruments compared to an ability that is uncontroversially present in every one of us.  That ability is language.  Simply by making noises with our mouths, we can reliably cause precise new combinations of ideas to arise in each other’s minds.  The ability comes so naturally that we are apt to forget what a miracle it is.

Steven Pinker, Professor of Psychology at Massachusetts Institute of Technology

I read this quote a while ago and the gist of it really struck a chord with me.  Language is such a huge part of our lives and yet we tend to forget how amazing this phenomenon really is.  It is quite remarkable that we have the ability of affecting the minds of others simply by creating sounds.  We can make each other laugh, cry or rant simply by stringing together various sounds.  How amazing is that?? 

What kind of world are you making?

“We are what we think.  All that we are arises with our thoughts.  With our thoughts we make the world.”  Buddha

As I was reading this quote, I was thinking about the thoughts I had today and far too many of them were negative thoughts about other people.  Is that really the world I want to make?  Is that really the person I want to be?  I’m sure I can do better than that.

Shouldn’t we help ourselves first?

Tonight as I was riding the subway home I noticed that someone had scratched the words “God Help Us” into the side of one of the doors.  I started thinking about that phrase and how many times people use it.  I started to think that maybe people use that as an excuse not to help themselves. 

Many people that believe in “God” blame him for the bad stuff, call on him to help them with the hard stuff, thank him for the good stuff and ask him “why?” when they can’t figure out the confusing stuff.  Doesn’t this take away from their ability to do things for themselves?  If you believe that another entity is responsible for all that happens to you, do you ever take responsibility for your own actions? 

Is this why our society is falling apart?  Is it because people do not feel responsible for their actions?  Is their belief in a higher power making it easier for them to escape that responsibility?  Isn’t belief in “God” supposed to make you a better person?  Is it possible that it is making people worse?

Or is it possible that the opposite is true?  Is it possible that our society is falling apart because fewer people believe in “God”?  Do we need more people to be asking “God Help Us”?

Note to Self…

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” Benjamin Franklin

Who do you compare yourself to?

In his book “The Paradox of Choice“, Bary Schwartz talks about what motivates our choices. He talks about how some people feel better about themselves and their choices by comparing themselves to those who are worse off and how some people find it motivating to compare themselves to people who are better off. So I have been thinking about which side I am on. Does knowing I have better things than some people make me content or am I motivated to acquire better things because some people have more than I do? I actually don’t think I fit into either category. I make my choices based more on comparisons I make with myself. When I was younger I didn’t think I would ever get to where I am today and so the simple fact that I have choices is satisfying to me. Whether other people have more or less isn’t really part of the equation. Like everyone, there are times when I am envious of something someone else has, but I certainly don’t link my personal satisfaction on it. There is nothing wrong with a little healthy envy but how happy you feel about your own choices should never be controlled by what others have or don’t have.

Life is a risk – all you can do is jump

Written November 27, 2005
Linda told me a story today about a woman she knows that just lost her husband. The woman was only married for about 8 years before her husband died. She said that had she known that she would have such a short time with him, she would have married him a week after they met. She knew she loved him and they knew they wanted to be together but they felt that it wasn’t ‘normal’ to move so fast so they waited. And she regrets that.

So if we know life is short, why do we let uncertainty, questions and fear keep us from enjoying things to the fullest? There are no guarantees and so shouldn’t we just let go of what is stopping us and jump in with both feet? Is there really any way to ensure happiness in love, career, family etc.? Is there any benefit to waiting to experience things in life until we are sure the outcome will be positive? Can we ever be sure? The pain of a less than positive ‘jump’ can’t be more than the joy or value of the experience – even experiences with bad outcomes are worth living. I don’t want to look back on my life and realize that I have missed out on opportunities to experience wonderful things because I am afraid of the outcome/conclusion. Maybe I am ready to jump.

Quote of the day

“No matter how hard you work, someone else will always screw it up!”
Gwen Resmer

South or West – where shall I go next?

This morning as I left my house and headed to the office I decided to let fate dictate my path (actually it is more the traffic lights that I let dictate the path but “fate” sounds more philosophical). Instead of following my regular route I decided to follow the flow of the lights. I started down Bay St. and let the changing lights dictate the next direction I would take. If I arrived at a light that was red I would go west, if it was green I would continue south. My goal was to arrive at the office without having to stop and wait for a light, but the actual outcome got me thinking about a bigger idea than just my path to the office. By following the flow of the lights and not personally controlling my route, I saw sights I don’t usually see and the trip actually took 5 minutes less than normal. It is possible that I walked faster than usual but maybe my decision to let something else control my movements actually got me to my destination faster. I like to be in control (okay okay you can all stop laughing at how much of an understatement that is…I said stop laughing!) but my adventure this morning makes me think that perhaps I will get what and where I want a bit faster if I just relax and go with the flow. I am not saying I am going to relinquish complete control but perhaps some areas of my life could benefit from me just following the lights.

What’s the right amount?

How much affect does worrying about the future actually have on the future? Trying to figure out what will happen at some distant time and place is an exhausting task that I seem to have been spending a lot of time on lately. Am I ruining good things that will happen by stressing over them now? Is trying to figure out how things will turn out, negatively impacting my life experiences in the present? How do I learn to live in the moment? And is that even the best approach? Shouldn’t we spend some time thinking about the future? Do we run the risk of sabotaging our futures but living only for today? What’s the right balance? And is it different for each event? Is the balance for relationships different than the balance for career? Is the balance for career different than the balance for personal development? What is the right amount of time and energy to spend on concern for our futures?

Anyone want a crystal ball?

If you were given the opportunity to see your future – would you take it? If you could get an early screening of all of the ups and downs that you will face, what successes and failures you will have, which special people will come into and leave your life – would you grab some popcorn and settle in for the show?

Wouldn’t knowing the final destination ruin the trip? Isn’t life more about the path you take than where you end up? Or is it really about the final goal? Is the stuff in the middle just fate’s attempt to keep us busy while it figures out what to do with us?

I have been doing a lot of thinking about both my professional and personal future lately. I have made a lot of changes in my life in the past year and I wonder if that has changed my future? If it did, did it change it for the better or for the worse? If fate has a plan for me, what is it? Do I really want to know? Hmmm – no matter how much some of the unknown things weigh on my mind, I don’t think I would choose to see the future if I was given the chance. If what I saw was good, I wouldn’t be able to wait for it to happen and if it was bad, I would spend all my time worrying about it. Perhaps not knowing is best.